Irrational Fear

So in 24 hours I will being my CrossFit competition "career" by competing in the "Festivus" competition in Hartford Connecticut.  I'm excited but cautiously nervous.  See, I have an irrational fear of coming in last.  I can live with not coming in first, but to come in last is just plain scary to me. It's not like having the slowest time at my own box, I know those people, but to embarrass myself at a competition...scary.

Not helping that fear is that the WODs are very strength-centric and none play into my strengths (double-unders, running, box jumps...).  This happens at CrossFit events, you can't choose your workouts, you have to be ready for anything so I have no complaints.  But even if I finish and get to the shot put first, I still have to find a way to launch a 12 pound ball further than guys that will likely be stronger than me.  In the clean, I have to hope my form and adrenalin can get me a few extra pounds.  I'd love to be okay with myself going out and doing my best (which I will do) but what if my best is the worst of those there?   It will be VERY tough for my ego to take that.

Does anyone actually believe this? Cause I sure as hell don't.

With all that said, I'm wayyyyy too cocky to actually think I will come in last.  I know I can compete with others that have been doing crossfit for a similar amount of time as me.  I've come a long long way in the past 7 months (wow, is that all it's been?).  I also know that adrenalin will be flowing, the other competitors will be screaming me on (which helps more than most would imagine) and if I take the time to warm up properly I'll do fairly well.   I fully expect to PR the 1000m row and the clean.

I should also note here that I over think EVERYTHING.

WOD

Strength/Skill:  Handstand practice.  I pulled out 11 full hand stand push-ups!  no abmat needed...but did have to Kip them.

WOD

15-13-11-9-7-5  SDLHP and lateral shuffle.

Time: 9:12 (95lbs)